But he pushed it too far just before, and after playing with her tail he pounced on her had. That did it. Another big HISSSS and I had to remove him from the situation.

So how does this remind me of humans, you may ask? Well, the intentions are good. Buckley only wants to play with Missy, he is a curious kitten and is exploring the world. She is part of this world, and definitely the most interesting part to him. She doesn’t mind too much that he exists: she often ignores him, but has realised he is here to stay. She doesn’t chase him  or hiss at him unnecessarily. She shows tolerance.

However, the miscommunication is there. They are just not on the same wavelength. But the thing is, it is not intentional. Okay, maybe Missy gets a little grumpy that some other cat is moving in on her turf, and maybe Buckley takes it a bit too far by jumping on her tail when she is eating, but it is not malicious. I think we all too often experience the same clash of cultures and take it too personally. We quickly jump to the conclusion that the other person (or cat) is deliberately trying to aggravate us or get on our nerves, when really they just have a different way of seeing the world.

I know that whenever I feel really mad or upset, I benefit from stopping and taking a breath. By waiting about 10 seconds to think about the situation and whether it deserves me upsetting myself (because you can only get upset if you choose to be), the feelings usually subside. Logic takes over when we refuse to take things personally.

I am an incredibly emotional person, so my definition of ‘logic’ may be different to others’, and I believe that emotions are the backbone of all relationships and ways of thinking, despite what the individual may think. What is ‘rational’ when every viewpoint is subjective? But when we refuse to let our emotions cloud our judgement, we then experience a kind of emotional logic wherein we do not lose our emotional sensibility, but instead channel it through a constructive point of view. We can use our emotions for good, to help us understand the world in a positive way.

This way of thinking is especially useful in high stress situations, such as when stuck in heavy traffic. People can be incredibly rude and dangerous in the cars, more so than they would ever be in person. It is frustrating to see some of the horrendous driving that goes on. But it is even more dangerous to respond. By taking check of our emotions and realising that someone else intimidating you on the road is not a personal attack but the result of their own feelings and situations, we can step back and avoid responding. This way, you protect yourself and do not allow someone else’s actions to upset your equilibrium.

The funny thing about my cats is that although they have these little scuffles, they can relax like no one else. Both of them are such chillers, and enjoy the little things in life, like a good pat under the chin or a tin of tuna. They are slowly getting used to one another, and although it may take a little while, they do not let it ruin their days. They forget about it, Missy goes somewhere else and Buckley continues to frolic. And then they bask in the sun, without a care in the world.

There certainly is a lot to be learned from a cat (or two). I hope this helps you to breathe, step back and relax.

Image: Piyaphon / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I have certainly felt this way, and I know that a lot of you out there have too. For those of us who are writers, or other creative types, a lot of our work gets done in untraditional ways, and cannot always be measured with a yardstick. In Western societies particularly, we are taught to measure only tangible outcomes. Otherwise, whatever ‘silly’ achievements we have made are worthless.

I have recently had a number of these ‘slow’ days, which I have dedicated to writing, planning or brainstorming my blog and where I would like it to go. Scoping out other blogs and discovering online communities to become a part of. Trying to think of fresh posts and points of view to explore. I would not be able to provide you with a balance sheet of the results of this work, but I can assure you that it has been worth it.

I was inspired to write this post after reading a post on the value of downtime on Three New Leaves, via The Broadside Blog. I love Matt’s realisation that we do not need to be productive all of the time. I completely agree, and am becoming increasingly aware of the necessity of relaxation and recouperation. By allowing ourselves time away from the ratrace, we are able to focus on what is truly important to our own lives.

The point that hit home the hardest was his saying that we need to stop feeling guilty. I too am in favour of this idea, despite having to constantly fight to feel okay about doing ‘nothing’. I think a lot/all of these feelings of insecurity about ‘not doing enough’ come from comparisons with others, and a lack of our own self-image. If we truly know who we are and where we are aiming to go, we can relax in the knowledge that we will get there in due time. More importantly, we give ourselves permission to to trust our abilities and talents, and to recognise the value in them. We all need to be okay with who we are and understand that we are all a little bit different. And that is fine.

Give yourself a break today. Take time to acknowledge the work you have done, whether it is writing, composing a song or a photograph, brainstorming career options or goals, building something, teaching people or simply having a day of rest. There is no need to feel guilty about giving yourself what you need.

Have a happy day and give yourself a pat on the back from me!

Image: Sura Nualpradid / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

If you think about it really hard (or sometimes it can come to you very quickly), I’m sure you could think of someone or something that you could appreciate more. Perhaps it is a family member or a close friend, doing small favours or acts of love that you haven’t noticed or have taken for granted. Or maybe it is your current situation, filled with goodness, love and success (however you define it) for which you could be more thankful and understand in relation to the bigger picture of our world. It is easy to forget that there are a lot of people on this planet, with different hopes, dreams and ambitions, but they are real. And instead of comparing ourselves to them, we could just sit with this knowledge and let it make us a little wiser and lot more humble.

I have been guilty of ungratefulness, particularly recently. Some big things have been going on in my life, yet I have been focusing on the tiniest (and sometimes imaginary) problems instead of appreciating the things I do have. I think sometimes we like to make things harder, perhaps because we are scared to let ourselves be truly happy, or maybe because it is easier to play the victim than to be the bigger person. I have done it, but I am sick of it. I know too much to let my mind get in the way of all the good in my life. Perception is reality, so I am going to choose to have an awesome one.

It is important to care about one another, but it is also crucial not to let others dictate your life. Certain rules or ideas you may have about the ‘perfect life’ may be imaginary limitations created in your own mind. Things such as how your partner should be, what you should do or how you should act, for instance, come down to you. Comparing yourself to others is a game you will never win, and one that will sour your experiences right now. You decide, because it is your life.

So what are you grateful for?

Image: Felixco, Inc. / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I like to think that I am a pretty positive person, and I do try to see the best in people. However, I have been known to get so incredibly frustrated over the smallest of perceived slights. Particularly terrible drivers. Road rage seems to be something that is so tempting to indulge in, and once it’s sucked you in, you’re in trouble. It will ruin your day, and make you resent your fellow humans. Yet I have engaged in it too many times to count.

When we have one negative experience, we can tend to generalise this to every single possible experience, ever. I know that this isn’t brain science, but it is easy to forget sometimes. What’s even easier to forget (because it can be hard to be the bigger person) is that we are in charge of our feelings. Whenever I choose to drive peacefully, I accept that it is going to take me as long as it is going to take me, and I do not rush or get frustrated with other drivers. I give them the benefit of the doubt – who knows, maybe they are rushing to the hospital or perhaps they are upset from some terrible news they received a few minutes ago. When we put things in perspective and look at the bigger picture, instead of focusing in on ourselves, we feel better.

Which is why it is good to surround ourselves with people. Even when you don’t necessarily feel like it. Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, it is a good thing. It is so easy to forget our shared humanity (yes, really) and to think that we prefer to be alone. I used to think this too, and I still enjoy having some ‘me’ time. But not too much. When I get an exorbitant amount of this ‘me’ time that I have pushed so hard for, I start to feel lonely. I get sad, and I get inside my own head. All sorts of fun mental games start to happen then. I can literally drive myself crazy, but I will think that I am perfectly fine and it’s just that no one understands.

When I wrote about our return from Bali a few days ago, I talked about how travel really puts a lot of things in perspective and allows us to really be part of the world we live in. The thing is, it is not just travel alone that does this. It is not that we are not part of this world, it is that we just don’t feel like we are. Gaining perspective can be a great reason to travel to Indonesia, but I could also see a completely different part of my own city by driving 30 minutes to Brunswick. In fact, we did a few weeks ago, and it was eye-opening too.

I caught up with a beautiful friend for lunch and was telling her about The New Psycho-Cybernetics (everyone should read it, it’s that good). She is a beautiful person inside and out, but I know she has struggled with similar issues to me. This is because we all struggled with similar issues.

Because we are all more alike than we are different.

Isn’t that refreshing? I remember watching Oprah a little while ago and she was adamant about this. We all want similar things, and we are all juts not that different. That is not to say that we don’t all have our own talents and gifts, because I believe that every one has a purpose for being alive and gifts that only they can provide. But when we say this, it puts a little bit of pressure on us to know exactly what that is, now! A lot of us (myself included) feel we don’t know why we are here, but that may just be because the reasons we thought of were deemed unworthy. By our own minds. They are worthy, and it is okay not to know everything, but just know that you are not alone.

I hope this inspires you to contact someone in your life who is important to you, or perhaps someone with whom you have lost contact. People need human interaction and it is one of the greatest gifts you can give. So many lonely hearts would be mended if more of us reached out and embraced this and understood that we really are all in this together.

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In the magnificent TV show Mad Men, Betty tells her brother to ‘stop counting other people’s money’. This line has really stuck with me, and my boyfriend and I sometimes quote it as a reminder to stick on your own path and not listen to distractions. Honestly, that is the one thing that can derail anyone: comparisons with others.

How much money other people have has absolutely no bearing on my current situation, or my potential to improve my situation. None whatsoever. My boyfriend is great at reminding me of this, as I can tend to get a little over-emotional and lose sight of logic sometimes. I think this happens a lot in our society, and is part of the reason why Bali was so refreshing. Everyone needs to make a living and get by, but there seems to be such a focus here on materialism and being the best. My best friend and I were talking about our high school the other day, and how it focused primarily on those students who were the ‘best’. It is a common theme in the 21st century, and I think I would benefit from steering clear from it.

The book I am reading, The New Psycho-Cybernetics, is great for helping with this issue. This is because it is so clear, understandable and practical, but also because it helps to know that you and I are not alone in feeling the ways we do. Today I am going to focus on those things that I do have, and appreciate them as they should be appreciated. Because I have so much, and I know I am so lucky.

The funny thing is, once we let go of these comparisons, we are then able to become our best self. This isn’t possible when we are stuck in the ‘comparison spiral’, because you can never be the absolute best when everyone is so different. But by focusing on your own life and your own goals, and not peering over at your neighbour’s fence, you empower yourself to be who you want to be.

And there is no greater feeling than that!

Image: Piyaphon / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Being a psychology student at heart, I am infinitely interested in the many ways we can change our mindset. This can happen by being conscious of our thoughts and making a deliberate effort to stop and redirect them, or it can be something as (seemingly) simple as a shift in your environment.

The funny thing with this bad little habit of mine is that I know it needs to be changed. Tonight I resolved to change it… then ended up scouring the internet for interesting trash to read. Hmm, funny that. I managed to tidy up before my best friend came over, but still in a very slapdash way.

Having just come back from Bali, where we stayed in an idyllic villa and had people to help clean up after us, it is a bit of a reality check to be back where I was, and needing to do the same thing, but just not doing it. I know so many people face similar problems every day, not necessarily with tidying their space but perhaps with losing weight, or being on time, or communicating with others. We all have our vices, especially those ones where we are extremely aware of what needs to be changed but are just unwilling to take the necessary steps. It seems to be a problem of our time.

I remember reading a column by Sarah Wilson in Sunday Life magazine about how our physical space can affect our emotional health. Of course, one sign of depression is a level of apathy regarding one’s surroundings, health or hygiene. She wrote about how having too much clutter on the floor pulls us down, and can lead to, stem from or exacerbate depression. Similarly, too much stuff stocked high up in your wardrobe can give you a sense of foreboding, of having something weighing over you. All signs pointed to the cleansing of our physical area leading to the rejuvenation of our mental and spiritual health.

So, what now? I am staring at my dresser, covered with bits of paper, and am going to tackle this first. I will keep you updated – wish me luck!

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

We left early Monday morning and arrived in Denpasar at about midday in Indonesian time. We had previously organised through a friend for someone to ‘help us out’ at Denpasar airport: getting us through customs and getting a taxi quickly, all for a small fee. A bribe, perhaps? Perhaps. But it was very nice being able to walk through the reserved ‘Diplomat/Official’ area in customs and get straight into a taxi. It was an interesting insight into the entrepreneurial spirit of this particular young man, and also at the apparent ease with which palms must have been greased. However, I am sure this goes on in  many other countries, quite possibly including Australia – we just happened to be privy to it in Bali.

It was pouring when we hopped off the plane, although it was still hot. We thought we were there for wet season, but apparently that finishes in January, so it was just the tropical climate showing off to great effect. Driving along the roads from the airport, it seemed quite similar to Thailand, with lots of little stalls and makeshift shops by the road. Immediately you can see that these people work so hard for their business.

We were dropped at our villas, and spent 6-and-a-half blissful days there. It is quite possible to live like royalty in Bali without blowing the budget too much. Despite similarities to Thailand in respect to the the country’s appearance and the traffic situation (much more on that later), it soon became apparent that Bali has been solely designed for tourists in a different way to what I experienced in Thailand. I packed so lightly, and figured I would buy sarongs and  dresses from stalls on the street quite cheaply, and that I would get lots of Bali souvenirs too. Wrong. In Seminyak, where we stayed, there are so many nice-looking Wester-style shops targeted at the tourists, with Western-style prices too. They sold practically the same things we could buy in Melbourne for the same, or a higher, price.

I find the Western influence in Asia interesting, apparent in their fashions and particularly in the abundance of skin-whitening creams available. As a very light-skinned person, I have always found it hard growing up in Australian and being unable to tan. I have now come to terms with it and love the skin I’m in (literally), but it is still bizarre that these creams take the place of fake tan lotions in Australia. Travelling is so useful in providing a sense of perspective, and this is one example of that. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and colours, and it is important to remember that there is a whole other world out there which may see things differently to you. It is so refreshing and unifying, in a funny way, because it shows that we are all humans with our opinions and our flaws, and thoughts we once considered unmovable may actually just be a product of our culture or our own minds. That’s perspective.

We didn’t get to travel too much this time, but I will definitely go back to Bali to discover more because the people were so lovely. So lovely. And not in a partronising way because we were obviously tourists. Unlike America, tipping is not the custom in Indonesia, and the labour there is very cheap. We experienced a few taxi driver’s trying to upsell on their services, but I can’t blame them because they were having a particularly quiet time due to the Japanese tsunami. The staff at our reception desk said that they had already had numerous cancellations from Japanese tourists, and at the salon down the street one of the ladies said they had only had three customers that day. There were about five staff on. There weren’t too many tourists around when we went, so I understand that it’s a hard time for the Balinese and everyone needs to make a living. Despite this,  all of the people we met did not expect or assume anything about us, and were genuinely lovely. When we tipped at the end of our taxi rides, it was clear that the drivers were honestly not expecting it, and that it meant a lot to them. The taxi rides are comparatively very cheap in Indonesia, that it felt ridiculous not to tip. I don’t want to be a patronising Westerner and act like myself alone can save developing countries, but it can be heart-wrenching to see constant desperation. If I can afford to bring a bit of sunshine to someone’s day, whoever they are, then I like to do that.

Our room was lovely, and we really made the most of it. We were fortunate enough to be staying in a beautiful villa with our own private pool, which we used every single morning. We had breakfast brought to us each morning, by the lovely, lovely staff. Honestly, the people in Bali were so nice, they are the main reason why I would return. They are so kind, patient and respectful. We wanted a relaxing holiday, and that is what we got, so that we often would not leave our room until late in the afternoon. The staff were so understanding and would happily drive us to nearby shops in Seminyak or to Kuta or Jimbaran. This shuttle service was included in our accomodation and was so useful to be able to go straight to our destination and just get a taxi home. Even though we were there for just under a week, it is funny how quickly you become familiar with a new place. Soon we were able to give directions and know where we were, which is always a good thing! I had been dying to go travelling again since our New York trip last year, and this is just the tip of the iceberg.

We had so many fun times, beautiful meals and great conversations in Bali, and I would love to go back. Yesterday, I experienced the ‘come down’ I always feel when I return from a holiday, and am still getting over it. Writing helps, as does knowing that I can go back whenever I like and it will still be there. My fabulous boyfriend and I spent all day, every day together, and it still wasn’t enough. I am a handful at times, but the trip was so healing and good for us. He is the greatest travel companion, and I can’t wait to go away with him again. I am incredibly lucky to have someone so special in my life, who loves me unconditionally and whom I love unconditionally in return, and our holiday reinforced just how in love we are. Aww!

So, back to reality in my lovely home town of Melbourne. After a stressful time getting to the airport, both in Denpasar and changing to the domestic airport in Perth, with literally 20 minutes until the flight left, I am glad to be back on home soil. Our brief holiday allowed me to get a grip on some things in my life, and in a way helped me to start taking the next step in my journey. I feel like I’m at a crossroads and that some changes need to be made, and this is starting to happen now. Scary, exciting and exhilarating all at once! Ahh, to be a young adult.

There will most likely be more posts about our divine time in Bali, including some of the fabulous food we chowed down on. There were a few restaurants we were lucky to go to, with unbelievable ocean views. Next post, I will tell you all about them. Yum!

I hope you are all well, and enjoying your Tuesday. See you soon!

I must give kudos to my lovely mother for introducing me to the wonders of salmon combined with dukkah. For those of you who have not encountered dukkah before, it is a Middle Eastern spice, made up from a mixture of nuts, spices and herbs. You can get a number of different types of dukkah; for this recipe, I used pistachio dukkah (at first because it was the only one available in my local supermarket, and subsequently because I fell in love with it).

This recipe really is simple, but it delivers in spades. Preheat oven to 180 C. Lightly add a few drops of extra virgin olive oil to cooking tray to prevent sticking. Prepare four salmon fillets – defrost if frozen, although fresh is always best (but not always practical). Simply pour the dukkah onto a plate and roll the salmon fillets in the spice until they are completely covered. I used to lightly coat the salmon fillets with oil but found that because they are naturally oily, this was unnecessary. However, depending on the freshness of your salmon, you may wish to do this to add a little moisture.

After this, simply bake for approx. 20 minutes, until the salmon is cooked but still tender and juicy. I love how fish does not take long to be completely cooked, and I always err on the side of caution as I hate overcooked, dry fish. The great thing about salmon is that you can’t really go wrong with it. I used to dislike it as a teenager, as we weren’t very creative with our salmon recipes back then. By itself, I’m not as keen. But if you pair salmon with the right partners, it really sings. I adore this recipe, and strongly suggest you try it. So simple, so delicious.

My mum came up with this recipe using her own imagination, but I have since seen it used in a few restaurants (particularly Fabulous Fine Foods, previously reviewed on this blog). It really shows how much fusion and global influence we see in our food these days, and I am so thankful for it. Now every time we buy salmon, I get so excited at all of the possibilities for dinner and can’t wait to create something new.

And that is definitely how life should be!

It is important for all of us to choose happiness. I know this may sound a little in-depth for Misc Bliss, but this blog is all about positivity, and not just about restaurant reviews (although these do make me happy, too). I am finding more and more each day that our thinking affects how we live, and how we all have the power to decide how we feel. Being such an emotional person, this sometimes doesn’t quite seem true, but from reading just the introduction of a fabulous book called The New Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz, I have learnt that it really is within our control.

I write this blog as a way to enjoy all of the goodness in my life, and for it to be a place for others to seek positivity and enlightenment. There is enough drama and negativity in the world, and I choose not to focus on it in this realm. This, however, is harder to do in real life. I am sure every one has felt unsure, uncertainty, doubt, unhappiness, insecurity, fear and even self-hate at times, and it can be hard to overcome this. But sometimes I get a grasp on reality and gain a little perspective, and realise how lucky I am. I hope the same can be said for you. I live in a beautiful country, live a beautiful life and am surrounded by beautiful people. I really am lucky, and it is important for me to understand this every single day.

I highly recommend you have a look at this book, and I will definitely keep you posted as I progress through it. It is the sort of book that can change your life, absolutely for the better.

In the meantime, I have been dining out frequently at numerous quality venues. I will update you on these shortly, as there have been too many good meals to deny my dear readers from hearing about!

I hope you are all well, and enjoy this lovely day!

Image: lobster20 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I hope you all had a great holiday season and were able to have at least a bit of a break. I had a much-needed relaxing time and am looking forward to an exciting 2011!

I have been having many delicious meals out and about, and am dying to tell you all about them. I have been having issues with my camera, hence the lack of visual stimulation in this post. However, it will be fixed soon and Misc Bliss’ photos will be back!

Also, I would like to hear from anyone out there in the blogosphere (or just the internet) to suggest any yummy places for me to try. I’m in Melbourne, but I am prepared to travel within my cast city for that perfect cuisine. So please, suggest away!

Thanks everyone, see you soon